The Banger Sisters

Just watched this.  A feel-good movie about getting back to your roots and living who you are instead of living as you think others want you to be.  About remembering your young, happy-go-lucky days when life was fun. 

Happy Valentines Day

My guy came home with a lovely card.  I didn't do anything for him 'cause I thought he would forget and I didn't want him to feel bad.  But the day went bad anyway.  Our dog came home from his walk, happy and tired as usual but then a few hours later started upchucking and then he did it again and then again.  And then he seemed unsteady on his feet and, after consultation with my man, I suggested he go to the vet.  His master wasn't too sure that was the right thing to do but he took him anyway and while he was on his way I called the vets to warn them there might be a serious case on the way.  They were 'way busy' but booked him in anyway.  It turned out that there probably wasn't anything to worry about but when asked what she would do, she said she would xray.  That was done it there showed a ball of some kind in his stomach.  I mean a ball like you throw not a ball of some obscure matter.  Sooo tomorrow he goes in for surgery to remove it.  Oh such a dreary evening since he couldn't have his supper or anything to drink (the dog I mean) and he seemed to think it was all because he had thrown up and we tried to get him to go outside when that was happening instead of it happening on the carpet.  Smart dog!  Not to mention how his friend felt about depriving him of what he wanted and worrying about the surgery tomorrow.

I feel bad about what I am about to write but I was afraid that there would be nothing wrong with him and I had sent him and his master to the vet for nothing.  Instead, I was partly vindicated by the discovery of the ball although that apparently shouldn't have caused him to throw up.

My partner has at times berated me for insisting (his words not mine-I would suggest) that something happen and when it turned out that it wasn't necessary or turned out wrong, it was my fault.

Fault is a strong word.  In a person raised as I was it is a heavy burden to bestow on someone.  You must revisit the whole situation, ponder over it, replay every nuance, and try to decide if you did something wrong.  Being a soft personality, I usually accept that it was my fault which causes me much pain and makes me less willing to speak up the next time my input is requested.  I become more shy and quiet and reserved and I guess I won't publish this in case I have revealed too much about myself.  GOOD NIGHT.

Jump In

Have been watching a tv show called Regenesis.  I'm hooked.  It's about a lab in Toronto funded by the 3 North American countries (if I need to list them, they are Canada, US and Mexico).  Called Norbac it saves the continent from killing viruses, evil Monsanto type companies and weird genetic diseases.  I like it because it's positive and usually upbeat.

Also just watched The Visitor.  Gave me a different outlook on illegal immigrants.  It was a US film so I had to try to filter it through my Canadian vision but I hope our immigration policy is different than the US one.  It probably is since we allow 5 digit thousands in every year without them even needing to know English.  I see I'm conflicted here.  I would hope that people who want to become part of our culture and can contribute to our country are allowed in but those who want to bring their ethnic baggage with them and glom together in an enclave where they don't need to speak our language are not allowed.

Anyway, these are on Vision TV which has shown lots of shows that I enjoy.  You need to put up with a bit of religious stuff now and then but it's worth it I think.

begin

after all this blogger setting up b.s. i'm tired and have erased what i have written so please call back later and maybe we can share some thoughts.

Begin

I'm shy.  I don't talk about myself.  I don't even tell my doctor much about myself except the necessary things to hopefully let him prescribe something to help any pain or discomfort.  I have always thought of myself as bombproof from any disease or physical harm.  Until April of 2009 when I was diagnosed with lung cancer.  That was the beginning of my gradual decline.  What a shock it was for me and my husband.  He's an internet freak and immediately looked everything up on the net.  It started with the x-rays and scans and with the chemo.  That went on for week after week and then a few months respite and then more chemo and more x-rays and scans.